Here I sit, stealing a few minutes to be away from the chaos of the hotel room with small children; the repetitive mantra ‘ mum can I do iPad?’, ‘mum what’s next?’
I sip a warm coffee as I stare into the distance at the open expanse of greenery. The rustic golf course is dotted with only a handful of private, lush estates.
Closing my eyes, I feel the warm sun soothing my anger, peeling away the layers of frustration and quieting the noise.
In my fantasy mind, there is an alternative-complete solitude-rewinding time to a life with no children, no partner, when I had time to think and be present.
In reality, however, the memory of those days of single hood still pulses in my bones. Days of pining. Days and nights wishing I could turn to someone who cared and say ‘isn’t this magnificent?’
In the life I have chosen, I can hear them sigh and nod in agreement. I know that in a few months or years, when we are involved in the routine of life, we can recall this view, this place, this moment. The recollection will make us pause, to look at eachother and remember this is why we chose to spend our life in a pair and then a unit.
Therefore, I conclude that the evocation of a moment of joy, shared collectively is enough to make dealing with the frustrations and chaos- worth it. I am ready to return to my beautiful family, to bring them downstairs and to share the view with them.